The White Man’s Burden

A satirical poem inspired “The White Man’s Burden” by Rudyard Kipling.


Ava Paulsen, Editor in Chief

Take up the White Man’s burden 

Ruling countries and kingdoms 

Who lead the church and oceans 

Authoring the world’s wisdom 

Gifting it to savagery 

Rectifying the wild 

While containing those who are 

Half-devil and half-child 


Take up the White Man’s burden

Representing the people 

In all of the three branches 

Plus those who are illegal 

Understanding thick accents 

And allowing new cultures 

Is exhausting in practice 

And only serves these vultures 


Take up the White Man’s burden

For we give them all they need 

When our women ask for rights 

Just tell them you need to breed 

For they cannot surpass us  

In the universities 

We have to bear our duty 

Stay in the nurseries 


Take up the White Man’s burden

As it belongs to you 

And make sure you pass it on 

So your sons carry it too 

Counteract the movements 

Of painting nails and dresses 

Make sure your sons are strong 

Bringing only great successes 


Take up the White Man’s burden

As the commoners complain 

Of injustice and healthcare 

And no climate change campaign 

I tell them that they’re blessed 

Heaven can now welcome you 

No matter your sex or race 

A right not under review 


Take up the White Man’s burden

Despite the increasing load 

Do not admit to weakness 

And destroy our manly code 

Surrender is not a choice 

For who else will fight the wars 

Yours truly needs to create 

To settle our pointless scores 


Take up the White Man’s burden

It’s the price we have to pay 

No one knows our sacrifice 

Saying as they don’t obey– 

“Rejoice in your privilege 

And the rights you always get 

For those are the sole burdens 

Of any White Man’s upset”