Diagram of moving on to a career.

Parker Bradford and Terrence Thompson Couwenberg, Editor of Global and Staff Writer

Every year, hundreds of thousands of high-school seniors go off to college to study what they love most, from intense and explosive sciences, to rigorous mathematics, to emotional expressions through writing and the arts. But that begs the question: what about those students who don’t know what they want to do? Sure, they can apply with an undeclared major, but that’s only a temporary solution. In such a divisive world, finding a decisive answer to such an individualized question is almost impossible, but that hasn’t stopped us at The Daily Howl™ from undertaking this challenge!

Of course, no one career is perfect for everyone. Because we each have our own individual wants, needs, and values that shape our future decisions. As such, The Daily Howl™ is not attempting to find your best career, but instead the career that best fits the majority of the senior population at CHS.

With that out of the way, we can discuss the College Major Data™ we at The Daily Howl™ have pondered over in calculating the Perfect Post-College Career™. Through responses gathered from this form (which you can still submit to yourself), writers at The Daily Howl™ have poured countless minutes over the responses to find which courses and majors are most well-loved by our student body, and the results will likely surprise no one.

To begin, our lowest rated course with an average rating of 0.315 was Trigonometry, followed closely by Algebra, Probability, and Calculus. Because of this, I will opt to not show the method used to average and standardize the data we found, out of respect for our many readers.

By far, the course with the highest rating was Creative Arts, with an average score of exactly 3. This confirms two suspicions we had going into this: first, that the majority of students value creative expression over scientific, historical, and mathematical inquiry; and second, no one really wants to go to college that badly. The highest rated course out of all courses listed was rated at a 3 out of 5 on average, a completely middle-of-the-road option. When we asked people to rate cute animals, our highest average score was the Red Panda at 4.68 out of 5. 

At this point some readers may be thinking, “Oh, so the Perfect Post-College Career™ has to do with Creative Arts, right?” And they would be very logical, and also very wrong. Creative Arts may have been our Chiefly Coveted Course™, but upon looking closer at the data, The Daily Howl™ found that the second-, third-, and fourth-best courses were Psychology (2.89), Philosophy (2.63), and Sociology (2.58) respectively. Because of this, our Perfect Post-College Career™ must have a heavy emphasis on these three subjects, and suddenly, it all became clear.

We here at The Daily Howl™ have not only scientifically calculated the Perfect Post-College Career™, but also a major through-line connecting the needs of every senior polled at CHS: Therapy. Many fields of therapy cover two of the four highest-rated courses from our survey at the least, and with an influx of potential patients in recent years and an exponentially-raising rate of students majoring in Psychology and Sociology, our Perfect Post-College Career™ seems to be a net benefit for the world as a whole.

There you have it, Castaic. The Daily Howl™ has officially calculated that all Castaic seniors need therapy in their lives!

The Daily Howl™ is not a medical paper and nothing posted within is to be considered apt medical advice.