I twist myself into a knot,

The expectations pull taut.

I do what I am 

told. Finite hours lost 

in the wind. A disillusioned child crumpled and discarded,

bold of you to think you had a chance. 

A desperate grasp. It’s the way

 the unrelenting rejection wears me.

A tragic, heart-wrenching day of no return. My wan, sunken

cheeks like a crescent moon eclipsed by omnipresent dusk. An emptiness

swelling in the depths of my soul. It’s nothing

but misery now. That’s how

dreams fade. A lifetime shatters in seconds, impales

precious memories.

Another essay, another failure fate lays out

before me. I’m remembered

if I’m lucky.

I’m notoriously unlucky.

My sorrow suffocates.

Such regret I bear. I am tired

of rejection. Vulnerable and defensive

to criticism.

What comes after this?

I don’t want to know.

I wish I could live the life I want,

leave this all behind me. I wish

I was not here. 

Disappear.